Why does the world overwhelm me so? I feel like I can't exist here. It gets too much sometimes. I'm not sure if anyone sees me for who I am, or who I can be. But what can you do when your good isn't good enough?
I told a friend that I feel it should be a balance, that we should sometimes overwhelm the world with our existence. In a good way, I hope. And earlier today, I was saying that I've made a lot of mistakes, but I've had a lot of fun, and if I keep hitting walls I'll just keep hitting them until I break down the wall or find an opening.
The truth is, I've found a lot of pain too. But every now and then, you wonder if anyone around you looks at you and thinks "this one's a fighter". Because I don't know if anyone knows how much of a fight I have to put up to simply exist in this world, sometimes.
And if you want an update on my love life, I just want to say these three words: What's going on?
But then again, I'm not sure. I mean, I thought to myself a few days ago. The fact that I know how to hurt and how to feel pain may not necessarily mean it's a bad thing. The ability to feel makes us human. It also means I am not jaded. Which I am glad for. I can still feel. I can still love.
And that's the thing about love. I get tired of giving, not knowing if my love means anything to the people I give it to. But maybe no one loses when it comes to love. Because, as a friend puts it, I know what love is. I actually know what it feels like. I actually know what it can do to you - the good and the bad. And not a lot of people know that. Or not a lot of people care to acknowledge that.
But the truth is, it's 6am and I'm too tired. I think this conversation needs a better time friend. Like 4am. Because 4am knows all my secrets.
Showing posts with label adventures. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adventures. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
The Kitten Rescue Attempt
The public service is a unit that often receives criticism. Almost everyone has a story about corruption, bribery and inefficiency of the public service. I guess in our daily lives, we tend to forget that there are good encounters with the public service as well.
This is my story.
On an early morning in 2005/06 (when I say early morning, I mean about 4am), I was sitting outside a 7-11 in Ampang with two friends, drinking beer. It was rather late, and I was quite tired, so when I heard a "mew" coming from the top of my head, I thought I was hearing things.
It was a shoplot. And one of my friends noted that just the day before, he heard a kitten and it sounded as though the kitten was trapped upstairs, by a ledge on one of the shoplots, and had no way out. Kittens are mischievous by nature, and it's no surprise that they can sometimes get themselves into trouble.
It was a Saturday night, or rather, an early Sunday morning. I looked up and tried searching for the kitten. We went to 7-11 and borrowed a torchlight and located the kitten. It was trapped and had no way of getting down.
There was a water cooler nearby, and its sibling, I assume, was hiding under it, mewing in fear. Fear for its own self, and for the other kitten, I assume. I tried coaxing it into my arms, and it slowly nestled itself into my arms, in search for some comfort, I believe. After it had calmed down a little, we decided we should try rescuing the other kitten.
We tried to get the trapped kitten to jump down; my friend carried me and I was high enough, almost reaching the kitten but with a distance of possibly almost a metre. I wanted it to jump to my arms, to safety. But it was too afraid.
So I took the other kitten, and tried to coax both of them down, thinking that perhaps they could find a way to find strength in each other again, and then the trapped kitten would jump to my arms, to be with the other kitten.
But it didn't.
So the next best thing to do, we thought, was to call the fire department. Yes, it was 4am, we were drunk, and we decided to call the fire department. Both my friends thought it was a better idea if I made the call, considering it might have been incredibly ridiculous if a drunken man made a call to the fire department at 4am on a Sunday morning reporting about a trapped kitten.
And so I did. It wasn't an easy phone call, because I had trouble describing the whole situation.
But what happened next was something we completely did not expect: The fire department arrived within 10 minutes in a fire truck.
What ensued next was a rescue mission that lasted two hours or more. It was daytime by the time it ended. Unfortunately, we didn't manage to rescue the kitten. Not even with the fire truck, because the ladder could not be angled at a position to not hit the billboard.
I must honestly say that I left with mixed feelings. I was upset, yes, by the fact that we didn't manage to rescue the kitten. But what made me feel better that fateful day was the fact that people cared. It may have seemed like a trivial matter, but they took the time to try. It took them two hours or more, climbing up the ladder, angling it this way and that way, and it wasn't easy because the kitten kept running away, into the building.
So it was actually quite heartening.
So I believe there are people out there in the public service who care about serving the public, and even in the tiniest of concerns, they see the significance of the issue. They saw how distressed I was, and I was begging them again and again, asking them not to give up. And they didn't.
Not for those two hours in the wee hours of the morning.
We left hopeful, not dejected.
And if you're wondering what happened to the kitten, on Monday, when my friend went to work, he stopped by at the shophouse, and went upstairs and managed to rescue the poor little thing. It was hungry and soaking wet, from the rain or other elements like pipewater and such, but the good thing is that it was rescued, after all.
So there ARE people who care.
Let's not trick ourselves into thinking that there aren't.
"I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart."
- Anne Frank
This is my story.
On an early morning in 2005/06 (when I say early morning, I mean about 4am), I was sitting outside a 7-11 in Ampang with two friends, drinking beer. It was rather late, and I was quite tired, so when I heard a "mew" coming from the top of my head, I thought I was hearing things.
It was a shoplot. And one of my friends noted that just the day before, he heard a kitten and it sounded as though the kitten was trapped upstairs, by a ledge on one of the shoplots, and had no way out. Kittens are mischievous by nature, and it's no surprise that they can sometimes get themselves into trouble.
It was a Saturday night, or rather, an early Sunday morning. I looked up and tried searching for the kitten. We went to 7-11 and borrowed a torchlight and located the kitten. It was trapped and had no way of getting down.
There was a water cooler nearby, and its sibling, I assume, was hiding under it, mewing in fear. Fear for its own self, and for the other kitten, I assume. I tried coaxing it into my arms, and it slowly nestled itself into my arms, in search for some comfort, I believe. After it had calmed down a little, we decided we should try rescuing the other kitten.
We tried to get the trapped kitten to jump down; my friend carried me and I was high enough, almost reaching the kitten but with a distance of possibly almost a metre. I wanted it to jump to my arms, to safety. But it was too afraid.
So I took the other kitten, and tried to coax both of them down, thinking that perhaps they could find a way to find strength in each other again, and then the trapped kitten would jump to my arms, to be with the other kitten.
But it didn't.
So the next best thing to do, we thought, was to call the fire department. Yes, it was 4am, we were drunk, and we decided to call the fire department. Both my friends thought it was a better idea if I made the call, considering it might have been incredibly ridiculous if a drunken man made a call to the fire department at 4am on a Sunday morning reporting about a trapped kitten.
And so I did. It wasn't an easy phone call, because I had trouble describing the whole situation.
But what happened next was something we completely did not expect: The fire department arrived within 10 minutes in a fire truck.
What ensued next was a rescue mission that lasted two hours or more. It was daytime by the time it ended. Unfortunately, we didn't manage to rescue the kitten. Not even with the fire truck, because the ladder could not be angled at a position to not hit the billboard.
I must honestly say that I left with mixed feelings. I was upset, yes, by the fact that we didn't manage to rescue the kitten. But what made me feel better that fateful day was the fact that people cared. It may have seemed like a trivial matter, but they took the time to try. It took them two hours or more, climbing up the ladder, angling it this way and that way, and it wasn't easy because the kitten kept running away, into the building.
So it was actually quite heartening.
So I believe there are people out there in the public service who care about serving the public, and even in the tiniest of concerns, they see the significance of the issue. They saw how distressed I was, and I was begging them again and again, asking them not to give up. And they didn't.
Not for those two hours in the wee hours of the morning.
We left hopeful, not dejected.
And if you're wondering what happened to the kitten, on Monday, when my friend went to work, he stopped by at the shophouse, and went upstairs and managed to rescue the poor little thing. It was hungry and soaking wet, from the rain or other elements like pipewater and such, but the good thing is that it was rescued, after all.
So there ARE people who care.
Let's not trick ourselves into thinking that there aren't.
"I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart."
- Anne Frank
Friday, January 6, 2012
Sharon's Guide to Climbing Bukit Tabur (Tabur Hill)
You know what you should do when all other "guides" to climbing Bukit Tabur do not seem too motivating?
Simple. Write your own. Which is what I will now attempt to do. I must emphasise that this article is written in all seriousness - everything I am about to write on is based on my experience climbing Bukit Tabur to catch the first sunrise of 2012.
A few days before Christmas, at a gathering, I got the inspiration to climb a hill on New Year's Day to catch the first sunrise of 2012. (I thought it was an amazing idea back then, but later on I found out that it has been done before. In any case, during our climb up, we were the only ones going up in the dark.) So I got around to asking a friend if it was an alright idea for me to climb Broga Hill alone on New Year's. After a short discussion, he jumped onto the idea, and suggested we go to Bukit Tabur instead. Another friend, who overheard the discussion, also came onboard.
"Which is harder?", I remember asking.
"Tabur. Broga is just a walk, but for Tabur you need to get on all fours" he said. "But takpe (it's okay) lah, we'll climb slowly." Yes, said these way more experienced climbers.
I was psyched about the climb, all the way until a day before New Year's Eve, when I decided to research on Bukit Tabur. I came across images and blogsites that told of the difficulty in climbing this hill. That was when I freaked out a little, but continued to psyche myself that I was going to be able to do it. But my fellow climbers, on New Year's Eve, kept saying it was possible.
So here are a few of my tips as a beginner on climbing Bukit Tabur:
1) Go with the mentality that it is a "walk in the park"
The fact that they kept telling me that it was simple, made me think that it was. Another friend, who came along with us, thought that it was going to be a "walk in the park". We came to realise that that made it easier for us. Thinking it was going to be a simple climb made it easier. I knew, of course, that it wasn't, but with friends who kept telling you that it was possible, you start to believe that it really is that simple. So go with more experienced climbers. Which brings me to my next point...
2) Go with more experienced climbers whom you trust
This is so:
a) You won't get lost so easily. If I had chosen to go alone, I wouldn't have been able to find my way up. We went up in total darkness. In fact, on the way down, when there was light, at one juncture when I was in front, I got lost and asked aloud, "Should I take the route that goes up again?" (Re-reading this, I feel like my mind must've really been almost toast to think that) So I know we should sometimes take the road not taken, but if I had gone alone, I would have definitely taken more than a day to get home. Or twenty years :D.
b) You can trust them not to hurry you up. They will understand if you need time to adjust. The friend I initially asked about the climb, at the beginning of the climb, told me to take it slow and go up at my own pace. You can also trust them not to leave you behind.
c) They can hold on to the rope while you hoist yourself up or down. The rope is usually loose and can be difficult to manage. So if you have someone you trust who has experience climbing, they will be able to help you on the way up and down.
d) They can provide you with things you forget, or just did not bring, like torchlights. Or water.
e) Most importantly, they are able to help you watch your back and front. So, in case you need a hoist up, or when your shoe slips (like mine did), you know you can trust someone to catch it.
3) Don't go alone
I wanted to say don't go alone unless you are really experienced. But I think it's still best to not go alone. In any case, you shouldn't go alone because you would want someone to take photos for you too! :)
4) Don't worry, your body may take time to adapt
I have a great fear of heights. So, in the beginning, I think about 1/4 of the climb up, I asked to stop once, and I slipped a few times. But when you feel that way, don't worry, just keep going. After a while, that feeling will go away, and your body will somehow adapt to the changes (like the gravitational unevenness). I think after that initial fear went away, my entire climb up and descent down became a billion times easier and smoother.
5) Don't be afraid to ask for help
Yeah, like when your shoe is slipping, you can ask the person behind you to hold on it. Or just yelp "My shoe is falling off!" like I did, and trust that they will hold on to it and say "Climb ahead, I've got it."
6) Find your own footing
This was one thing I realised while climbing up. I was right behind a friend, and I was trying to follow in her exact footsteps when I realised that her strategy may not be working for me. That was when I had to adapt, by holding on to a different branch, or stepping on a different ledge or rock. So, along with finding your own pace, I think finding your own footing is also as important.
7) Find your own way
On the way down, I was still on all fours a lot, sliding down the hill. My friend told me to stand, but I found it hard due to my fear of heights, or rather, fear of falling. So he mentioned that I should try bending my knees. What I did next was to bend my knees in a plie and put my arms up in the fifth position. I managed to walk down that way for quite a distance. So I suppose this means that you should do what you find is comfortable. Whatever works for you...
8) Go in the dark
Start your climb in the dark. My friend was right. He said that going up in the dark would be easier. Now of course, I have not gone up in light so I wouldn't know. But after we had gone down, looking up with the sunlight, I realised that it looked more frightful than it actually was. It's a certain kind of mentality. I realised that when you start climbing in the dark, all you're focused on is the climb up, one step at a time. You can't see the top, so you're not bothered by how far it is. You just continue going, until you reach the next checkpoint, and before you know it you're at the top.
9) Drink vodka
Okay, so I will not be held accountable for this *smiles sheepishly*. I had no sleep the night before, and I was drinking (it was New Year's eve, after all) all the way till almost right before we left for the climb. Yes, I was drunk. Tipsy, at least (but I was the only one). But well, "if the Russians can do it, so can you!" (to quote two friends) And if I ever have any doubts about pouring that vodka, I'll just remember them nodding and saying repeatedly "can can can can can can can..."
So yes, life's too short. Go climb that hill. And while you're at it, experience life.
I mean it both literally and metaphorically.
Love,
Sharon
P/s: This is a replica of the note I posted on Facebook, except that I removed names to protect privacy, since (almost) anyone can stumble upon this blog.
Simple. Write your own. Which is what I will now attempt to do. I must emphasise that this article is written in all seriousness - everything I am about to write on is based on my experience climbing Bukit Tabur to catch the first sunrise of 2012.
A few days before Christmas, at a gathering, I got the inspiration to climb a hill on New Year's Day to catch the first sunrise of 2012. (I thought it was an amazing idea back then, but later on I found out that it has been done before. In any case, during our climb up, we were the only ones going up in the dark.) So I got around to asking a friend if it was an alright idea for me to climb Broga Hill alone on New Year's. After a short discussion, he jumped onto the idea, and suggested we go to Bukit Tabur instead. Another friend, who overheard the discussion, also came onboard.
"Which is harder?", I remember asking.
"Tabur. Broga is just a walk, but for Tabur you need to get on all fours" he said. "But takpe (it's okay) lah, we'll climb slowly." Yes, said these way more experienced climbers.
I was psyched about the climb, all the way until a day before New Year's Eve, when I decided to research on Bukit Tabur. I came across images and blogsites that told of the difficulty in climbing this hill. That was when I freaked out a little, but continued to psyche myself that I was going to be able to do it. But my fellow climbers, on New Year's Eve, kept saying it was possible.
So here are a few of my tips as a beginner on climbing Bukit Tabur:
1) Go with the mentality that it is a "walk in the park"
The fact that they kept telling me that it was simple, made me think that it was. Another friend, who came along with us, thought that it was going to be a "walk in the park". We came to realise that that made it easier for us. Thinking it was going to be a simple climb made it easier. I knew, of course, that it wasn't, but with friends who kept telling you that it was possible, you start to believe that it really is that simple. So go with more experienced climbers. Which brings me to my next point...
2) Go with more experienced climbers whom you trust
This is so:
a) You won't get lost so easily. If I had chosen to go alone, I wouldn't have been able to find my way up. We went up in total darkness. In fact, on the way down, when there was light, at one juncture when I was in front, I got lost and asked aloud, "Should I take the route that goes up again?" (Re-reading this, I feel like my mind must've really been almost toast to think that) So I know we should sometimes take the road not taken, but if I had gone alone, I would have definitely taken more than a day to get home. Or twenty years :D.
b) You can trust them not to hurry you up. They will understand if you need time to adjust. The friend I initially asked about the climb, at the beginning of the climb, told me to take it slow and go up at my own pace. You can also trust them not to leave you behind.
c) They can hold on to the rope while you hoist yourself up or down. The rope is usually loose and can be difficult to manage. So if you have someone you trust who has experience climbing, they will be able to help you on the way up and down.
d) They can provide you with things you forget, or just did not bring, like torchlights. Or water.
e) Most importantly, they are able to help you watch your back and front. So, in case you need a hoist up, or when your shoe slips (like mine did), you know you can trust someone to catch it.
3) Don't go alone
I wanted to say don't go alone unless you are really experienced. But I think it's still best to not go alone. In any case, you shouldn't go alone because you would want someone to take photos for you too! :)
4) Don't worry, your body may take time to adapt
I have a great fear of heights. So, in the beginning, I think about 1/4 of the climb up, I asked to stop once, and I slipped a few times. But when you feel that way, don't worry, just keep going. After a while, that feeling will go away, and your body will somehow adapt to the changes (like the gravitational unevenness). I think after that initial fear went away, my entire climb up and descent down became a billion times easier and smoother.
5) Don't be afraid to ask for help
Yeah, like when your shoe is slipping, you can ask the person behind you to hold on it. Or just yelp "My shoe is falling off!" like I did, and trust that they will hold on to it and say "Climb ahead, I've got it."
6) Find your own footing
This was one thing I realised while climbing up. I was right behind a friend, and I was trying to follow in her exact footsteps when I realised that her strategy may not be working for me. That was when I had to adapt, by holding on to a different branch, or stepping on a different ledge or rock. So, along with finding your own pace, I think finding your own footing is also as important.
7) Find your own way
On the way down, I was still on all fours a lot, sliding down the hill. My friend told me to stand, but I found it hard due to my fear of heights, or rather, fear of falling. So he mentioned that I should try bending my knees. What I did next was to bend my knees in a plie and put my arms up in the fifth position. I managed to walk down that way for quite a distance. So I suppose this means that you should do what you find is comfortable. Whatever works for you...
8) Go in the dark
Start your climb in the dark. My friend was right. He said that going up in the dark would be easier. Now of course, I have not gone up in light so I wouldn't know. But after we had gone down, looking up with the sunlight, I realised that it looked more frightful than it actually was. It's a certain kind of mentality. I realised that when you start climbing in the dark, all you're focused on is the climb up, one step at a time. You can't see the top, so you're not bothered by how far it is. You just continue going, until you reach the next checkpoint, and before you know it you're at the top.
9) Drink vodka
Okay, so I will not be held accountable for this *smiles sheepishly*. I had no sleep the night before, and I was drinking (it was New Year's eve, after all) all the way till almost right before we left for the climb. Yes, I was drunk. Tipsy, at least (but I was the only one). But well, "if the Russians can do it, so can you!" (to quote two friends) And if I ever have any doubts about pouring that vodka, I'll just remember them nodding and saying repeatedly "can can can can can can can..."
So yes, life's too short. Go climb that hill. And while you're at it, experience life.
I mean it both literally and metaphorically.
Love,
Sharon
P/s: This is a replica of the note I posted on Facebook, except that I removed names to protect privacy, since (almost) anyone can stumble upon this blog.
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